Triompher de la dévalorisation

Overcoming devaluation

Introduction

Devaluation is a complex and subtle phenomenon that permeates the lives of many people, often without their full awareness. This feeling of inadequacy, undeservingness, or being less than others can manifest in various aspects of daily life, from professional performance to personal relationships. Despite its prevalence, devaluation remains a little-understood topic, masked by deceptive appearances and forced smiles.

In this article, we delve into the psychological and emotional depths of devaluation to demystify its origins and understand how and when this negative pattern is activated. Our goal is twofold: to identify the roots of this phenomenon to better understand it, and to explore effective strategies for transforming these destructive thought patterns into something constructive and emancipatory.

Part One - What is Devaluation?

Devaluation is a complex psychological condition characterized by a profound lack of awareness of one's own worth. It manifests itself through persistent thoughts of a lack of merit, ability, or worthiness. Individuals who devalue themselves may believe they are inadequate, unworthy of the best, or that they never know enough. This phenomenon often involves underestimating or denying one's own qualities and what makes each person unique, minimizing the impact of their presence in the lives of others.

Low self-worth also encompasses a lack of self-confidence, often resulting from these negative self-perceptions. Those who suffer from it may tend to seek external validation and recognition rather than recognizing their own intrinsic worth. They often seek appreciation, attention, respect, and recognition from others, placing their well-being and self-esteem in the hands of others' perceptions.

This thought pattern creates a cycle where the individual, constantly awaiting answers and confirmation from others, finds himself caught in a relentless quest for external approval, often to the detriment of his personal development and emotional autonomy.

By understanding devaluation not only as low self-esteem, but also as an inability to recognize and celebrate one's uniqueness and contributions, we can begin to address its deeper roots and encourage transformational strategies that build confidence and personal autonomy.

Part Two - Exploring the Roots

Often, self-loathing and low self-esteem lie behind childhood trauma and past denigration. To understand how these negative emotions take root, it's essential to look back to our earliest interactions and experiences that fostered this negative emotion.

Psychological origins

The foundations for self-deprecation are often laid early in life. Education, interactions at school, and our early experiences of failure or rejection play a crucial role in shaping our self-image.

Related to education

Education plays a crucial role in shaping a child's self-image. Children raised by extremely critical parents may find it difficult to see themselves in a positive light. Every comment or criticism, even about small mistakes or everyday choices, can gradually undermine their self-worth, leaving them with a persistent feeling of never measuring up.

Conversely, an overly protective environment can also hinder the development of independence and resilience. Children who are not encouraged to explore, make mistakes, and learn from their failures may become overly dependent on the approval and support of others to make decisions and manage life's challenges. This type of protection, while well-intentioned, can prevent children from developing the confidence needed to face the world independently.

Related to interactions at school

Experiences of bullying or social exclusion during childhood are particularly significant. They can leave deep emotional scars, leading to persistent feelings of worthlessness. Without going to these extremes, children can also be affected by more subtle, everyday forms of stigma. For example, being mocked for their last name, the color of their clothing, or an unusual passion may seem trivial, but can deeply affect a child. Even seemingly innocuous remarks about eating habits or a way of speaking can leave a lasting impression on a child, influencing their perception of themselves and their place in the social world.

These incidents, while less dramatic than outright bullying, can accumulate a significant emotional burden. Each teasing or derogatory comment can add to a negative self-image that consolidates over time, reinforcing feelings of not belonging and worthlessness. Understanding this range of experiences helps recognize the diverse ways children are affected by their social interactions and how these influences can shape their emotional and social development.

The first experiences of failure or rejection

How we learn to handle failure and rejection from a young age can shape our future responses. Without adequate support to navigate these challenges, we may internalize the idea that we're not good enough.

Amplification by cultural and social influences

Beyond the personal and family sphere, cultural and social influences exert strong pressure which can reinforce it.

Cultural norms

In many cultures, expectations for individual success are extremely high and specific. Failure to meet these often unrealistic standards can lead to profound self-devaluation.

Social expectations

Pressure to conform to specific social norms, whether in terms of professional success, family status, or physical appearance, can reinforce feelings of worthlessness in those who perceive themselves as not meeting these standards.

The media

Constant exposure to media images and narratives that idealize certain achievements or lifestyles can erode self-esteem. Social media, in particular, is a constant source of comparison, highlighting successes and often glossing over failures, creating a distorted image of reality that is difficult to achieve. Similarly, films and television series often contribute to this idealized representation by portraying characters and storylines that achieve unrealistic heights of perfection, exacerbating our own insecurities about unattainable standards of living.

By exploring these roots, we begin to see how the seeds of devaluation are planted and watered throughout our lives. This understanding can equip us to begin deconstructing these negative patterns and building a healthier, more affirming relationship with ourselves.

Part Three - Mechanisms and Activation

Understanding the psychological triggers, the role of emotions, and the behavioral responses associated with devaluation is crucial for identifying and changing the negative patterns that fuel this emotion. Devaluation is often activated in specific contexts, resonating with past experiences or comments that strike a chord.

Identify the trigger

The first step is to recognize that certain contexts or comments act as catalysts for devaluation. These "triggers" can provoke an almost immediate reaction of devaluation, depending on your personal emotional patterns. Here are some common triggers:

• Formal evaluations:  Whether in an academic or professional setting, evaluation sessions are conducive to feelings of devaluation, especially if your self-esteem is strongly tied to your performance. Criticism or negative feedback can awaken feelings of inadequacy or failure.
• Difficult social interactions:  Situations where you feel ignored, ridiculed, or undervalued, whether in friendships, romantic relationships, or family, can also trigger devaluation. These experiences can bring back memories of exclusion or rejection from the past.
• Comparisons with others:  In a culture where comparison is omnipresent, particularly accentuated by social media, measuring oneself against often unrealistic standards can trigger feelings of devaluation. Constant comparisons with the apparent successes of others can erode self-esteem.

The negative emotions that accompany devaluation

When we find ourselves in a state of vulnerability, other negative emotions and thoughts can add to and intensify the devaluation. These emotions play a central role in how we experience and respond to devaluation. They color our perceptions and can quickly lead us into a negative spiral.

• Regret:  Missed opportunities and regrettable actions can either cause self-deprecation or come later to amplify it. We often carry the weight of experiences we're not proud of, which remain latent like open wounds we don't dare heal.
• Self-hatred:  Sometimes, self-loathing can become the surface layer of deep self-loathing, in those who dislike themselves and live with low self-esteem.
• Fear of inadequacy:  This fear can be paralyzing and is often at the heart of self-deprecation. It makes us view our actions through a prism of perpetual lack, always being worse than others, and of failure.
• Shame:  Shame, deeply rooted in a persistent sense of unworthiness, amplifies processes of devaluation. It arises when a person feels profoundly inadequate or indignant about themselves. It is often rooted in the experience of being perceived negatively by others, whether real or imagined. This emotion is linked not only to specific actions or failures, but also to an overall perception of oneself as defective or inferior.

Inner Criticism – The Height of Devaluation

Devaluation often stems from our inner critic, a phenomenon that has been studied extensively by the field of psychology for decades. According to Dr. Louis Paul's research in the 1970s, we learned that those who experience self-loathing maintain an internal dialogue that is both critical and exhausting. This inner voice is constantly judging, extinguishing individual potential with its relentless criticism. It blames the individual for every mistake and repeatedly reminds them of their lack of worth:

• "You're going to fail, as usual."
• "Everyone is more successful than you, you'll never reach their level."
• "If you can't do it right, why even try?"
• "Look at you, who could love you with that look?"
• "Nobody cares about you, why should they?"
• "You're going to ruin this relationship, like all the others."

To counter this destructive cycle, it's crucial to learn how to identify these disabling ideas and transform inner criticism into compassionate self-talk. Self-love begins with the ability to speak to yourself with affection, respect, and compassion. This transformation of internal dialogue is essential for breaking the stigma and fostering a healthier self-image.

Isolation and misunderstanding

Devaluation can often lead to isolation, both psychologically and interpersonally. During events, for example, a person may find themselves trapped in their negative thoughts, unable to fully experience the present moment. They may constantly worry about the impression they are making, anxiously wondering, "What if I do this, what will they say?" This inner rumination creates an invisible barrier that prevents them from authentically connecting with others, reducing their experience to a series of fears and doubts.

Isolation can also take a more concrete and visible form through social withdrawal. In response to the fear of negative evaluation and the shame of not measuring up, withdrawing from social situations may seem like a protective strategy. However, this approach only exacerbates feelings of isolation, reinforcing negative thoughts and devaluation. Withdrawal not only prevents one from receiving the external support and validation that could counteract negative self-perceptions, but it also confirms in the individual's mind the idea that they are fundamentally different or inferior.

This isolation, whether internal or social, creates a vicious cycle in which the individual feels increasingly misunderstood and detached. Without meaningful interactions to challenge or moderate these feelings, self-deprecation can become even more entrenched, further limiting opportunities for positive growth.

This third part is a bit long, but recognizing the triggers and amplifiers of devaluation gives us intervention points to begin making changes. Self-awareness and self-observation are effective tools for combating devaluation.

Part Four - Transformation Strategies

To effectively overcome self-esteem, it's crucial to transform our thought patterns, emotional reactions, and behaviors. These concrete strategies will help you bring about this change, fostering more positive and resilient self-esteem.

Introspection and taking action

Reflect and act: Take the time to reflect on the specific areas where you feel you are devaluing yourself. This introspection will help you identify the situations where devaluation is most present. Once you've identified these moments, develop new responses/reactions. For example, when faced with criticism, instead of withdrawing or reacting defensively, take a moment to objectively analyze the criticism, extract the constructive elements, and respond in a measured manner. Another problem with devaluation is that it can often limit action, the ability to dare to do things, and the ability to propose ideas. The next time devaluation paralyzes you and tries to prevent you from taking action, challenge yourself and dare!

Transformation of self-criticism

Reversing negative self-talk: Start by recognizing automatic, recurring negative thoughts. Challenge these thoughts by questioning their validity: "Is this thought based on facts?" or "How is it helping me?" Then, reframe them into positive, realistic affirmations that promote learning and personal growth—for example, transforming "I am not competent" into "I am improving in this area every day."

Celebration of Singularity

Stop comparing yourself and value your uniqueness: It's crucial to stop measuring yourself against others, especially on difficult days when the temptation to devalue yourself is strong. Remember that each person is unique, with their own talents, rhythms, and limitations. Focus on your strengths and what you can offer, rather than on what you perceive as flaws.

Cultivate positive habits

Establish a positive daily dialogue: To counteract negative thoughts, engage in daily practices that reinforce positivity. For example, start your day by recognizing three of your qualities or things you did well the day before. Little by little, these habits and thoughts will replace those that encouraged self-deprecation.

Developing self-compassion

Practice self-kindness: Treat yourself with the same compassion and concern you would offer a good friend. Incorporate practices such as compassion meditation, focusing on mantras or visualizations that encourage self-acceptance and kindness.

Meditation idea to strengthen self-kindness

You can begin this meditation with a prayer/request that the Light may help you change your self-deprecation into kindness towards yourself, for example. Then focus on your heart: continue to breathe gently and regularly, and gently bring your attention to your heart area. Visualize a large white light coming from your fourth chakra, that your heart is a luminous space, filled with gentleness and warmth. With each breath, visualize this light growing, radiating from your heart to all parts of your body.

With each inhalation, you breathe in a pure, radiant white or golden light that enters through the top of your head and travels directly to your heart. Feel this light warm and illuminate your heart, filling every corner of your being with love and compassion for yourself.

With each exhalation, visualize this light spreading from your heart outward, reaching every part of your body. Think of this light as a soothing balm that heals all internal wounds, doubts, and self-criticism. Let this light heal the parts of you that have been affected by devaluation.

With each breath, strengthen your intention to treat yourself with love and compassion. Think of qualities you love about yourself or accomplishments you are proud of. Let these positive thoughts fill your mind with each inhale, and release negative thoughts with each exhale. Visualize this light as a healing force that can touch and transform the darkest parts of your psyche, bringing hope and renewal.

For students of the Hanka School, activate your heart fire and call your guardian angel with the calling mudra.

Conclusion

Devaluation is a profound inner struggle that can influence every aspect of our lives, from our relationship with ourselves to our interactions with others, our professional performance, and our spiritual growth. Understanding the underlying mechanisms of this phenomenon, identifying its triggers, and recognizing the emotions that fuel it are essential to initiating a profound inner transformation. By actively integrating positive strategies into our daily lives, we can gradually replace patterns of devaluation with more balanced approaches to self-esteem. Believe in yourself and practice self-kindness; every small step is significant progress.

No one deserves to see themselves as their own worst enemy or to believe they don't deserve to be loved. Self-deprecation is like a mold that seeps in and corrupts everything, an inner voice that poisons our potential, values, and opportunities. Sometimes, those who despise themselves even tend to project this discomfort onto others, blaming others for their failures or unhappiness, thus locking them in a prison of negative feelings.

In a world already full of challenges, it is crucial not to add unnecessary internal burdens. Let us cherish every moment of life we are given, transform the shadows within us into light, and stop sterile comparisons. Our personality and essence are like fertile soil: let us not allow devaluation to sterilize this soil. Instead, let us cultivate seeds of goodness and success that can not only nourish us but also enrich those around us. Let us make our existence a flourishing garden where positivity and self-acceptance can flourish, bringing peace and joy not only to ourselves but also to our loved ones.

Marie Jannin